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My new Tent

After waiting a month for a tent I bought on ebay, and then receiving the wrong tent, we were looking forward to physically shopping for our tent for the Sept trip to Arnhem Land.

So today we went to Anaconda , just to look. We thought they had run out of our chosen model of tent, but in the back we found an ex-demo model for a very, very beautiful discount.

Now I have a tent that both M & I can fit into! YAY!

Perspective

I love when you have those aha moments, when the perspective allows you to gain freedom and reclaim joy where things may have seemed hopeless. Most of the time the situation doesn’t actually change, but simply the outlook adjusts your world view.

Life is not about how much is going on around me, that would go on no matter what. It’s what I do with what happens around me that makes  it possible to keep stepping forward with a smile, or to feel the need to simply sit and cry, or sometimes to do a little of both.

What I find hardest to do, but so easy when I remember to do it, is to remember that no matter what happens, I’m never alone. The beauty of being a Christian is that I know where ever I am, whatever is going on, whatever I think of myself, that no matter what, God loves me and thinks I’m great, but more importantly, God loves whoever is around me and thinks they are great too. My job, is to love him back and accept his perspective, even when I can’t fathom it.

Thanks God.

The Trip…

The link http://www.halfdecentcoffee.com/ride/a-crazy-idea/ blog page called “The Trip”. The reason I’m pointing you to this page is that this guy’s “Trip” is actually also my Trip. So, to those of you who don’t already know about what M & I are up to in September, head over to this blog and you will see the Crazy Idea that is actually becoming a reality.

The trip is also why I have been struggling very hard to come to terms with my very irrational fear of getting back on the motorbike (I again dropped it Sunday before last – although it appears if I don’t try to stop I’m fine really). Being a pillion or driving the 4WD seems a lovely option at the moment.

Once the trip has started I will endeavour to keep this page up-to-date with details, but failing that, the above link will be a secondary way to see what we’re up to.

I did have a permanent link to this page on the right of screen, however it seems to have disappeared. Once I work out why it has gone I will hopefully get it back up for you.

In the meantime, I will continue to blog my thoughts as per normal (or not so normal).

Life in community…

I was contemplating today about my love affair with the thought of a perfect little community. Where all things would balance out: family, friends, work, play, and privacy.

The reason for my contemplation, today I am isolated. One of my children is sick and needs an adult to stay with her. I really love that I get some extra time at home, but it means I lose money because I can’t work, I miss the interaction with others, and generally I really don’t like housework that much and so I have to spend time doing something I don’t like or trying to avoid it.

In my contemplation, however, I realised that my little community needs to start here, with my sick child, and that the dream of perfection has it’s flaws.

To need or not to need…

There’s many circumstances in life when we are in need of people. I need to see a doctor when I have to get some type of medication ie immunisation, I need an official to sign documents when I have to apply for various things, etc etc etc. What I find though, is that when I have a personal need I am not always sure of who or where I can turn.

We build up friendships over the years, some are deeper than others, but all friendships go through times of wealth & poverty. Some of my friends haven’t heard from me in a long time, some I saw just today. However, it’s in times of intense poverty of spirit, in poverty of knowledge to my own needs, that I search for someone to turn to. The irony is that most “friends” would feel honour for someone to come to them. I know I do, when I have a friend in need, I am honoured that they would entrust me with some of their struggle. I also know that there’s many a time when I’m not in a good place to help them, either with time, or emotion, or focus.

Thank God that there is a God. It’s in those times of intense need that I most need to remember that no matter what, God will never judge me, God will never be thinking about something else, that God will always just be there for me.

I think the nicest thing though is that God will always be ready to be seen in those other people around us. I think we’ve just got to let him…

A train ride…

The Puffing Billy somewhere near Emerald

The family & I had the luxury today of traveling on the famous Puffing Billy line. Apart from choosing a very busy Easter Saturday to go (chosen because of a birthday rather than it being a holiday) & having to wait in line for an hour in the hope that we were going to get on the next train, it was a great day.

Lots of fun with the girls emphasising that “this is the best day of my life”, sitting with their legs sticking out the side of the carriage. We ended up with the dads driving the cars to Lakeside which meant we got a whole beautiful abundance of time just to chill out & actually enjoy the park without the hordes of other Puffing Billy travelers. We even “splashed out”, as it were ,& went on the paddle boats – how unfit, 15 min of paddling was enough for all the parents. We finished the day at the Paradise Valley Bistro overlooking the rail line that we had been on, getting to wave to the final load of travelers as they headed back to Belgrave.

The Controlling Nature

Whilst looking into the organic mess (and it’s not all manure) that has happened in my life over the past 2 years or so, I’m pleased to look back and see that my need to control the world around me is deteriorating. Sometimes I find myself slipping back into the old ways of contemplating how I could make things work, but realise, sometimes a little later than others, that I can’t control all those things. I still plan, I still work things out, but when they don’t happen, it’s no longer the disaster it used to be.

Life is ever changing, the journey is as important (in fact sometimes more important) than the destination, and selfishness doesn’t get you anywhere but stuck.

Trying to blog

As someone who is older but new to blogging I’m trying to work out the how. So, whilst I learn I’m talking about what makes blogging difficult and what is easy in using this medium to get my message out there. I find that if I can write what comes to mind, I’m not interrupted by others. This can be good, in the sense that I get my whole thoughts out there, rather than just a sentence here and there, and bad, in that sometimes, with discussion, my thoughts and views can be affected and influenced by those whom I am interacting with, which may change those very views.

I need to talk. I’m one of those very social people who love having people around, who love speaking with others about their thoughts, feelings, initiatives. I also get frustrated by conversation as well, where the conversation is dominated by one person or one topic. Even when I’m talking about something I love, I like to move around, hopefully without confusion, onto other topics, instead of exhausting my conversational partners and myself.

The difficulty I have with blogging, is that I can cause self-esteem issues. I find I start asking myself “why would anyone want to listen to my thoughts”, “am I speaking a lot of crud”, “what’s the most amazing thing that has happened to me today, and am I game enough to share it.”.

I also don’t have the computer skills to do more than basic stuff. I would love to do heaps of amazing things, that doesn’t scare me as much as my own thoughts though, so I will continue to press forward in learning as much as I can.

Saying all this, I’m still persisting. I love the thought of having a conversation via the ether.

So, here’s to blogging.